It’s so funny some of the comments I get when I bump into friends I haven’t seen in awhile. Me, being my good old self, would of course go through life thinking I have always been the same person. But when I run into these friends, I leave the reunion feeling a bit depressed and confused. I find myself mulling over some of the things my friends say to me, all the way home.
Here are two really kick-you-in-the-butt moments that most people can relate to:
“You’re thinner now”
Seriously, I have always weighed the same for the past 10 years. Give or take a few kilos which I gained and lost and gained again, and lost again. The thing is, every time I bump into an old friend, schoolmate or ex colleague, without fail “oh you look thinner now” will creep into the conversation. I’m sorry, I’m thinner now as oppose to?.... I don’t think I was really that fat when we use to hang out / work together. Really, I wasn’t. So then I begin to wonder, was I really that chubby? Is that how you describe me to others?... “oh ya her, the small, chubby-ish girl in our class?” hmmm.
A slightly more embarrassing moment was when I bumped into an old friend’s mother at a coffee shop and she immediately went into this awkward banter of “eei beenciii nyer! Look at you!!.. so skinny! How come you’re so skinny?!” and she was the size of a stick. I just did not know how the heck to respond. I wanted to die.
“You’re wearing a hijab now? Oh, so you’re getting married soon?”
This one isn’t even funny. No… am not getting married soon… nooo the hijab isn’t some kind of “wife control” mechanism your partner uses over you… The freedom of choosing for oneself to adorn the hijab seems to be quite an alien idea for some. I expected the usual questions such as “why did I choose to” but I did not appreciate the “oh so you’re getting married” remark. It wasn’t even a question, more like a simple assumption. Here’s what happened. I woke up one day and the thought of wearing a hijab just basically popped into my head. A few weeks later, I wore it and quite frankly I’ve never felt more at ease with myself. I’ve discovered so many new things and not once have I felt uncomfortable / hot / stuffy / longing to wear my hair freely. It was quite a smooth and easy transition for me. Alhamdulillah and I hope I continue to enjoy feeling this way.
(A friend at work was one of the first to see me on my first day, and she was really moved. That was touching and most appreciated)
Some other amusing remarks I get in my everyday life:
“But you hair was so pretty..” - It still is, darling.
“But you don’t need to worry ‘bout that, you’re so thin..” - You just said I was fat.
“Stop wearing ballet flats ‘coz you’re so short.” – I never was tall. In fact I stopped growing since high school.
“Your pores are quite visible.” – Yes they are.
“Oh but she’s a bit fair.. You’re quite tan…” – Curse you, Mr. Sun!
“You’re English is really good..” - And this was during a recent meeting with some people who had a discussion in English among themselves and turned to me to enquire something, but choose to speak in Malay. Huh?
“You’re quite smart / funny / open minded / different / easy going for a Malay girl” – Errm… say whaatt homey?
I’m sure there are many other interesting comments that I simply cannot think of rite now… but you get the picture.
Taa taa...
